saltcellar atrophy: We Found Love In a Foreign Place: Relationships ? Juan's Blog

Good Evening everyone!

I hope you enjoyed my last post and that you used it to plan an amazing Spring Break trip!

Tonight, I thought I would approach one of the most, if not the most, sensible topic of our teenage years and that is relationships. It is not often that one ponders on issues like this since we are in the hustle of every day, but nevertheless it is something we must think about simply because our behavior can affect someone else. I am not however, going to assume I am some sort of love Guru or Alex Hitch (From the great movie Hitch), what I am though is someone who believes in (and I am sorry for the obvious cheesiness here) the power of a great connection, and eventual relationship and finally love. Call me a hopeless romantic, but I do trust people.

Now, love has?multiple?stages and its an emotion so complex that no science formula will ever be able to define it; for those science majors who are reading this and going Ohh Yes I can! I am forced to inform you that accelerated?heartbeat?and a mix of chemicals is not a good enough description , (that was an oddly long sentence, but bear with me) and it is this complexity and diversity that makes it so powerful. It strips us of the few defenses we have and leave's us standing matching one soul to the next. But enough of these pink and fuzzy vocabulary and let's get down to business: how do relationships work like in college? Specially if you're a foreign student!

The phrase "a smile can work wonders" is perhaps how we can begin with this explanation; a smile is all it takes to indicate that you seem to be someone I would be happy to spend some time with, and you know what maybe for a long time! However I am not going to strive away from the obvious and rather loud truth that a relationship can start in thousands of different ways. My parents for example did not like each other while they were studying in the University of ?Tennessee, my dad had a tendency to drive ?by where the girls were sitting and act like some sort of Casanova, as a matter of fact my mom thought him a tad tacky, but a year later they were madly in love and 26 years later here I am! Relationships need to be based not on adoration or sacrifice, but on honesty and respect. From here?onward?everything will flourish, and sadly more than once have I seen a couple fall apart for not expressing what was really going on in their heads.

Things in college change a bit, academics must be the number 1 priority of coming to a University, but this does not mean you can or should forget about relationships. For all those guys out there we have to learn how to respect girls, seriously a little tip I learned early into my time in Springfield is to treat the ladies like they deserve the world. Attention to detail is vital, and girls correct me if I'm wrong, but combing the matted hair once in a while and putting a little cologne never really hurt anyone . I would never go as far as saying that every girl can be treated the same way and it will work, but there is a lot of basic things you can do to make sure it all works out.

For the ladies, it never hurts to give a guy a chance! Some of the best relationships?I've?ever seen started with an overly nervous guy approaching a beautiful girl who decided to actually listen and learned that you know what? I actually like this! I can?honestly?tell you it is so hard to approach a girl out of the blue and just magically expect a relationship to pop up, even more so if the girl has no intention of hearing you out. College is a time to have fun and enjoy life!

For international students it is even harder! I was so nervous when I first came here and realized that everything had changed. It is not only a different?rule book, but a different game overall, but do not stress! After this?initial?shock I actually discovered that my ignorance could be used to my advantage considering that girls were incredibly interested in how we dealt with relationships back home. It is something extremely humorous to watch my American friends trying to say cheesy pick up lines in Spanish... haha! However it is difficult at first, specially for students that come from cultures where interaction in a more than friendly way is frowned upon to step into a college environment, no matter where you attend school. I can tell you honestly though, that if there is one place where you can feel comfortable no matter where you come from its Drury. Students here are so used to cultural diversity that they are more than open to embrace differences.

Just remember, live life to the fullest and never regret any?decisions?because this mistakes will help you build your character in a much more positive way than if you?don't?take risks. Tonight i'll say bye with one of my favorite quotes:

"Any guy has a chance to swept a girl of her feet, he just needs the right broom"